God Made A Mistake

My Godmother passed away.

On Friday afternoon my dad called and told me that my godmother had passed away on Thursday. This came as a huge shock. She had been sick for quiet some time. She has been living w/hepatitis C for more than 2 decades but still. She got Hep C b/c she had a colonoscopy and since they weren't testing blood back then she developed Hep C.

During the phone call dad told me that Aunt Angela had been in and out of the hospital since June. She was dehydrated, losing weight and developed diabetes and her liver couldn't handle it. She died basically, of blood poisoning. She was 66 years old.

What I thought after the phone call w/my dad was that it should have been mom who died not Aunt Angela. God had made a mistake. It should have been mom.

I know this is a horrible thing to think, say and type but I believe it to be true. God had made a terrible mistake. In two weeks Aunt Angela was going to become a first time grandmother. A grandmother to identical twin girls. How can a loving God do that? She had been looking forward to becoming a grandmother. And now???

When Iwent to the wake on Saturday I kept thinking the same thing, it should have been my mom not Aunt Angela. Aunt Angela's mother was there and she couldn't believe it. Like the rest of us she was in total shock. I don't know how a parent can face the death of a child. It will be, thankfully, something I will never have to find out.

When I went up to the casket to say my prayer I asked Aunt Angela to look after my mom, to ask God to take her as soon as He was able. Mom is not in any pain, but the rest of us are. She is happy in her own little world. She is a one year old child w/o a care in the world. Doesn't know right from wrong. She is innocent.

I equate Alzheimer to an autistic child.

I hope that that when her grand-daughters arrive they will bring joy to my aunt's family.

And I still strongly believe that God made a mistake.